Just another conversation

I have had one of the most splendid conversations with myself. It happened earlier this morning while driving from Noida to Gurgaon, a drive usually deemed to be a pain. At times, in fact, in my case, most of the times, a drive can be therapeutic, like the one today. It helped clear all the clutter in my head. The dark clouds seemed to fade. It all began with self affirmations. What are self affirmations? Why do we reiterate to ourselves things we would wish, materialize? I realized, that to my mind, re-affirming things to oneself, what one wants to believe in, what one would like to see happen, are futile. Want is intrinsic. Want is strong. Want is natural. One must evolve or grow into wanting something so much that all natural actions and reactions strive towards it. If that’s not happening perhaps you have not wanted it so bad. Perhaps one is looking in the wrong places. A wish must become a want to be a part of every breathing moment. When it does, one does not have to remind oneself of its importance or create an awareness of its existence. It is overwhelming enough to thrive on its own. Self affirmations address change to an extent. Once again I treat change to be external, evolution is not. Anything extrinsic is a force acting against nature. Perhaps we need to be comfortable in our own skin, the pace at which we live, unapologetic about how we think and feel and content with who we are and what we have. I by no means wish to dismiss aspirations, I never would, they after all fuel evolution. It is in fact a lot like the emotion, love. Love, a commonly used, most commonly abused word. Love is unconditional, it is not reiterated. It simply exists and grows. It knows no head, no heart because it values the soul. I have heard people mention how they once had a loved one. Had a loved one? I question. Love just stays; It is the demonstration that at best may fade away. Probably it was never love that they shared. It is the one thing that is permanent, the one thing you carry to your grave and who knows beyond. The only truth some say is death, but I could argue for one more, evidently. Not that I am trying to be condescending but it is an opinion that I bear at this moment, and who knows as I grow each day it may change.