Vulnerability

The insecurity I have dealt with is letting one know of my vulnerabilities,
Needless to say expressions don’t come easy.
Telling one about how I feel is like wearing my mum’s stiletto’s when I was nine,
Looking into the mirror awaiting admiration and appreciation when they would be exclusively mine,
Took them off just soo quickly,
placing them back at the same degree
With all the make-up I wore and baubles to compliment
Yards of cloth, the attire so different.

You wonder how I relate expressing myself and wearing stilettos
Alas! Perhaps you’d never know
For boys like blue, girls like pink
And this a typical girl child thing

It is with the same innocence and purity of that little girl that unfolds here……
I tried so hard for mum to not know….place everything back to the best I’d known
BUT …she always knew!!!
She always did, the creases in her dress, my tinted lips and her haphazardly kept trinkets.

It is with the same purity and innocence of that little girl
That I reveal about how I feel
But I know this time it has been you who has been watching over me
And I feel awkwardly exposed
My secret unraveled
Beyond my control.
Controlled,you wonder if that is me?
No it is all about vulnerability
Awaiting that the admiration and appreciation of the mirror be reciprocated

But now you know
You always didn't
Only if I'd followed my head & not been different
Gave myself a chance
I’ll try not to regret, I tried to know
Although I know it should have been slow
Never really realized when the quiver let go off the arrow
Outgrown contained and insecure,
Shearing away vulnerabilities.