Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Ego Surfing Nostalgia - Part 2

Mayuri and Dilpreeta
We'd have been married

Mayuri on Dilpreeta

ahhh well where do i start from??? our friendship goes back to the years when hormones just start spurting..n man she was the icon!!! well dillu is one of the most in ur face person i ve ever known and thats what makes her so trustworthy!! wen we met we were not so close but over the years she s become one of my best friends , one of the very few people i can rely on completely!! she s always been this small, round vivacious bundle of energy..n thats what makes her so adorable!! she s a HORRIBLE flirt even though she tries really hard at it... but babes my genuine advice... GIVE IT UP!!! ha ha ha ha....

i ve been asked to write a testimonial again bcz according to miss hoity toity the previous one was sub standard!ha ha ha well i re write this testimonial bcz i feel i need to share with the world a lil more abt miss vasudeva.. apart from being an absolutely rocking friend, she is one of the most practical person i ve ever known.. there s a clause here her practicality ends when it comes to her.. she s the best person to go to for an advicebut ask her to sort out her own heart issues...wham there goes all the practicality!! she has an amazing sense of humour n is witty which is hard to find in women.... she would never admit but she is fu....n intelligent... how else do we explain those grades without ever putting in even half the effort??? but she is n will remain the worst flirt on planet.......... hope ur kids go on me!!!!

she s my soul mate and i actually mean it one of my closest friends since school (though we got closer aftr school) she s someone whos stood by me through thick n thin. the girl has a heart of gold...... is blunt to the point of being rude at times but then that also makes her one of the most straight forward person i ve ever met.intelligent, caring, grounded. she s the best agony aunt t have around u. very good at giving advices n very bad at implimenting the same on herself.....and the woman takes the worst decisions with absolute conviction... ...and u may bang ur head against the wall trying t make her see sense but madame wont budge unless she realises its wrong. so tht makes her bull headed... ...very sensitive and emotional.. with dil i dont ve t tell her she just senses it,has one of the prettiest faces i ve evr seen. n can even carry off those extra pounds in style.well i m sure she s gonna make it really big, cz she has all the right ingredients for it......but is a horrble flirt and my sincere advice is to stop even making an attempt at it.....men fall for u any which ways ..... well if i were a guy i m sure we wud ve tied the knot.... but if u still decide t change ur prefrences u know where to look.......:)...

Dilpreeta on Mayuri

She has been begging me, down on her knees, pleading me
haunted me 24/7, emailed and messaged me
please write me a testimonial
please please please
tell the world my glories, my tales and FANTASIES
so I mulled over it
and decided this is my moment to narrate her story
boring it is
but I insist
it is her airtime and let her cherish it to the fullest

I completely avoid appreciation
I avidly take her ass
No wonder it juts out like a flash
Let her not fool you by her innocence
She could have you as minced meat for dinner and not wince
Smart alec, and a road side romeo
She could put the theatrical big wigs to shame in a cameo
She switches from a damsel in distress
To a bar top dancer with ease
She bares her soul to all
In complete comfort and sync with who she is
Thankfully now she sheds her diplomacy
The only flaw I could ever see
To me we go back to Stone Age
Yes she looked like the ancient man
I saw the wheel in her reinvent itself far too many times
And it only got better
her magnanimity could put gatesfoundation to shame
she’d spend on you her last dime
and who says it is only monetary
her strength to snap back makes her a fighter
determined to win
and feed her drive
in her resides a hidden author
and she insures that her autobiography is not denied of gossip
makes life eventful
uneasy in moments of stability
she explores the lull
until quite is taken by storm
and then she cracks up
she cracks up laughing
she has done it yet again

Ego Surfing Nostalgia

There are some scribbled lines from here and there that friends wrote for me once or I wrote for them and it is amazing the way they can bring a smile to ones face.

Part 1 Charu and Dilpreeta
Bipolar attraction

Charu on Dilpreeta
I don’t have too many words to describe a person that she is...

The world told me to stay away
But I was as curious as a child
To know what is inside this 5 foot nothing

Strangely, for my ego doesn’t permit other times
I tread slowly to introduce myself
An unsaid understanding that we are alike
Let us un belong with the remaining 55

So many years, those are behind us
I often ask myself what is she to me
A mirror to myself
A friend for keeps
A critic to hate
Or just an emotion that describes it all

As the feelings resonates every now and then
I think we are to each other what flowers are to spring
There might be dry days, but we bloom best in the sun!!!

Dilpreeta on Charu

Never judge a book by its cover
never let the first impression be the last
for if she deceived you into believing that she is hard nut to crack
you have not even scratched the surface yet.
We have had our moments
my futile attempts to talk to her at the steps of college auditorium
our escapades at Madhu Sagar
well don’t ask us what we were doing there
hell, even the director did not know
but for feeling up each other’s arses
what better did we know
it would not be too far fetched if I confessed I cried to our friendship in disdain
though she lived in oblivion
but was pleasantly surprised
that’s her style
she has her idiosyncrasies
and boy are they idiosyncrasies
no sleep overs and many obsessive compulsive freak overs
we are social embarrassments when together
from public displays of affection to performing umrao jaan in midst of nowhere
our bouts of crazy humor
we share more than some things in common, love for SOS, insomnia and coffee are but the surface
we would like to believe we are the princesses of the world
spent all our money splurging on good food, good living
the 24 hours prior to exam marathon
thank her network in college with the wrong people (studious)
we figured the syllabus and the books
with 2.5 answers we got to the right side of averages
twisted fate and innumerable STD’s kept the long distance relationship alive
Occasionally I match my step with hers
on ill fated days I fall flat on the ground of mithas
now if u think we are in love….oh deep dive take a plunge
if this hasn’t marred your chances with men , nothing will.
For all those squirming and scowling at this piece of literature
a booker will do no justice to pages on her.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Sunscreen: My most favorite track

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99 If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…
I will dispense this advice now

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….

You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future;
or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.


Enjoy your body,use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you.

Maybe you have a trust fund,maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

Monday, July 6, 2009

Color Test

Am pretty impressed!! Here is the link for all those who want a peep into their state of mind using Colors...http://www.colorquiz.com/

My result:

Dilpreeta's Existing Situation

Exercises initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. Either holds, or wishes to achieve, a position of authority in which control can be exerted over events.


Dilpreeta's Stress Sources

The existing situation is disagreeable. Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the rank and file. Her control of her sensual instincts restricts her ability to give herself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow herself to merge with another. This disturbs her. as such instincts are regarded as weaknesses to be overcome; she feels that only by continued self-restraint can she hope to maintain her attitude of individual superiority. Wants to be loved or admired for herself alone; needs attention, recognition, and the esteem of others.


Dilpreeta's Restrained Characteristics

Conditions are such that she will not let herself become intimately involved without making mental reservations.


Dilpreeta's Desired Objective

Seeks an affectionate relationship, offering fulfillment and happiness. Capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Helpful, and willing to adapt herself if necessary to realize the bond of affection she desires. Needs the same consideration and understanding from others.


Dilpreeta's Actual Problem

Wants to be valued and respected, and seeks this from a close and peaceful association of mutual esteem.


Dilpreeta's Actual Problem #2

Needs to achieve a stable and peaceful condition, enabling her to free herself of the worry that she may be prevented from achieving all the things she wants.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Shiney Ahuja One liners

Compilation of original Shiney Ahuja jokes posted as FB status updates:

Q.Who is Shiney's fav football player?
A.Bai Chung Bhutia

Q.What kind of food does Shiney like
A.Home Maid

Q.What is Shiney's sexual orientation?
A.He is Bai-Sexual

Q.Why did Shiney hang out with Snoop Dog??
A. To make rape music
he loves N'Sync coz they sing...."bai bai bai"

Q.whats shiney ahuja's favorite song?
A.Maid in India

Q.Which song did Shiney sing with N'Sync
A.Bai Bai Bai

Q.In court, under oath what did Shiney say?
A.Bai God!
A." i was an innocent bai-stander"

Q.What kind of pact did Laloo and Shiney get into?
A.Bai Chara

Q.What does Shiney think now?
A.Let bygones be bai'gones

Q.Who are Shiney's new family members?
A.Bai Laws

Q.Why was Shiney charged?
A.Cause he crossed the Bai line

q.Where in Mumbai was Shiney Caught?
A.Bai-under ( Bhayander)

Q.What does Shiney practice?
A.'Bai-gamy'

Q.what did shiney tell his wife at the airport?
A.'Bai-Bai'

Q.Shiney's bio
A.Fav TV Serial: Baiwatch
Fav movie: Maid in Manhattan, North bai Northwest
Fav website: bestbai.com ( Bestbuy.com)... Read More
If you were not an actor what would you be: Bai-oglogist,
You swear by: Baibelle
Fav song: Bai bai love ( by the Everly brothers)

Q.What is Shiney's fav search engine?
A.Bai-du

Q.What is shineys only wish now ?
A." Bai - pass" surgery

Q.What has media coverage got to do with Shiney?
A.It is a Bai product

Q.How does Shiney refute all the claims?
A.It was all Bai-Talk

Q.Why did Shiney feel very old on his birthday?
A.He was celebrating his bai-centennial


Q.what specs does shiney wear?
A."bai-focals"

Q.When Anupam came to c him @ de cell, he said "Bai-by"

Q.How wud shiney ask for a cigg drag???
A." bai zara dena!!"

Q.What is the moral of the story?
A.love bai-tes!!!

Note:All of this is just Bai- d- way
Contributors: Shantanu, Neeraj, Mayuri, Smita, Ahteram, Hitesh, Pushkar

Friday, March 20, 2009

I DO NOT WANT TO VOTE

This is my tryst with writing about India. What I like about being able to express myself here is that I might actually be able to make myself heard which otherwise is usually in vain.

I DO NOT PLEDGE TO VOTE:

Ironical!!

Indeed it is very ironical. I do not want to vote.

No it is not because I am not aware of the power of one. I have had my fair share of self help stories which have been rather encouraging and have told me how I may bring about a change all by myself

It is not because I am stoic about the situation. Admittedly I am far more comfortable in life than a lot of others are, but one cant take away the recession from our professional lives. I am not good with doing my own work and I need to keep myself funded for affording what we middle class perceive as necessity- our daily labour- a thing of luxury to be honest. Back to the point, while I am perhaps better equipped to bear yet another spate of bad governance it is not true that it does not touch my life. IT DOES AFFECT ME TOO!!

It is not because I am not wanting to voice myself and I am complacent. I have a voice and I fully recognize and appreciate what a democracy has granted me.

I do not want to vote because:I do not know whom to vote for. The dilemma is:
MUST I CHOOSE AMONGST LESSER EVIL??
perhaps i have had my chance of writing a couple of objective examinations- but can there be an option of none of the above. I do want to take things into my hands, but am not a politician... thats not what I do, it is not my profession.Politicians are professionals, they run the nation. They are not social workers and they are not doing it for free! They do need to have qualifications before they can become one ( okay this is when you smirk- the qualifications are at best a mockery, I know but we do have a constitution which the Supreme Court upholds)

II am a citizen and I want to participate but why am I not allowed to?

Freedom of choice. I learnt that in civics- Yes, that subject which got us the easy score back in school. Neither am I free nor do I have a choice.

I have an opinion
I have a voice
and I DO HAVE A CHOICE
just that it is NOT YOU
must I be penalised?

I am sure there are several others who relate to my sentiments and I am hopeful this expression springs a certain familiarity with them.

While some others may think I am clearly washing my hands off my responsibility but no I have not even begun to voice myself!

There is a lot more I have to say. A lot more I want to share.

Most importantly the transactional mentality is what I want to stand against. It is never a one way traffic. Until we learn to give back no institution can keep giving us! Is earth in the present day scenario not one of the best examples that nothing- no resource is bottomless. Will write on this in my next post

Until then cheers

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Wishing away

Sometimes I want
to walk away
Sometimes I wish
to maintain a stride

A better day
A brighter side
Sometimes I want
to wish dark thoughts away
Sometimes I wish
to look them in the eye

slip on tracks and walk a mile
drive alone on a highway
sometimes I want
smaller pleasures of life
sometimes I wish
I had things my way

a will soo strong
pride in the confidence that resides
sometimes I want
to achieve what capability demands
sometimes I wish
to simply balance things out

sometimes
I want
on other occasion s
I wish
the tussle
the struggle
to tow a path
blurring of lines
fusion of several thoughts playing on my mind