12 Dec 2008

some manage work through perceptions, others manage perceptions through work. I am glad i belong to the latter


one can't complain about India not having competent politicians, what one can complain about though is, them not joining Indian politics.

11 Dec 2008

a lot of times when one is talking to someone, one thinks they are listening, truth is they are hearing you out..deal is learn to not expect

One Liners: Food for thought

there are just too many ingredients that are required to acquire perfection
but many a dish are prepared in the simplest of manner
it is just the special touch which steals the show...

A well garnished dish more often than not leaves one hungry...in one way or another wanting for more
Cheesy one I say...lol

I am not too adventurous when it comes to the cuisines I eat...I make up for it by the men I dig
damn...i will write a book on pick up lines...any publishers?

Cooking is therapeutic... only when you are doing it when you want and the way you want
Applause! married women...

I am on a do not disturb mode...working through a sunday is disturbing enough!

I have not lost something in a long time...just my head

19 November 2008

I have had an eventful day, an array of emotions:

Assertive
Confident
Winsome
Blushing
Fire-fighting
Snappy
In your face
Humorous
Forgiving
Hospitable
Elusive
Thankful
Loving
Impolite
Honest
Efficient

...more to come....phew

Marketa Iglova & Glen Hansard - If You Want Me

The lyrics are very special...

Are you really here or am I dreaming
I can't tell dreams from truth
For it's been so long since I have seen you
I can hardly remember your face anymore
When I get really lonely and the distance causes only silence
I think of you smiling with pride in your eyes a lover that sighs

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

Are you really sure that you believe me
When others say I lie
I wonder if you could ever despise me
When you know I really tried
To be a better one to satisfy you for you�re everything to me
And I'll do what you ask me
If you let me be free

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

If you want me satisfy me
If you want me satisfy me

15, November 2008

one of the best things to happen at the onset of winters is to cuddle up with your lab after a hearty lunch and tuck yourself to sleep...i am going zen! what a perfect friend.( 1915)

imperfections in people and moments is what makes life soo bloody perfect
the first word
the first half smile
the first step
the first feed
the first word
the first song that one croaked to
the first dance step one learnt
the first paint brush in hand
the first verse one wrote
..picture perfect (1100)



There is no better way to deal with things but to smile and stay upbeat!(1100)

13 November 2008

had lost her way...but then aren't some of the greatest discoveries made that way...think Christopher Columbus, only he learned to live with it but I am not bargaining for anything different than what I had set out for...am finding my way back!

Watched rock on! yeah terribly late but was I delighted, i was ...savored every second..it is a mood uplifter and boy am I in love with the scenes and the songs even more! A beautiful portrayal of the young adulthood and our aspirations. Makes me smile and do all things one wishes to do..time just passes and changes us a little each day as we learn to live with what we should do ....perhaps which is why we should live our dreams each day.

12 November 2008

is having a deja vu of pulling back her hair, wearing specs, dawning comfort fits and ganji, sipping endless cups of coffee and making it a 36 hrs workday

8 & 9 November 2008

Needs to find a gym in gurgaon for the month of nov and dec..needs to do it again..hit the gym duhuh! (1700)

..got very nostalgic reading the ISB scrapbook.(1700 hrs)

is missing not being home for the weekend. Folks I love you.(1400 hrs)

is loving it!(1100 hrs)

watched the much recommended movie Deja Vu...hmm hollywood affected by bollywood...too many gaps but then Denzel's dazzling smile takes the cake. (11pp hrs)

Saw pics of family, they celebrated diwali in USA...time flies and they all grow up too soon..cant wait to see them this december.

had the house fixed...bring them on, the electrician, the plumber and me!(1000)

is in gurgaon for the weekend(0900 hrs)


Saturday 8th November, 2008


learnt the nuances of voice overs and what one really sounds like.. very interesting...also there is just a lot to know...dig on (2300)

had a friend play the keyboard and croon.. nice!(2100)

bought two pairs of shoes....a glittering golden Cinderella pair to flaunt in delhi weddings and the other a nude color, stylish and elite.

went bowling...jezz never done it before, is anyone watching...was not that bad afterall...in fact it was fun (1800 hrs)

had a really late lunch ...mouth watering shrimp pasta and not soo yummy beer ( but then what the heck one of those and it does the trick)(1700 hrs)

4 November 2008

at times you need to take a step back to move forward...hmmmm! (21.35)

sometimes equations seem to match but they are not balanced.(1.05 am)

Just another conversation

I have had one of the most splendid conversations with myself. It happened earlier this morning while driving from Noida to Gurgaon, a drive usually deemed to be a pain. At times, in fact, in my case, most of the times, a drive can be therapeutic, like the one today. It helped clear all the clutter in my head. The dark clouds seemed to fade. It all began with self affirmations. What are self affirmations? Why do we reiterate to ourselves things we would wish, materialize? I realized, that to my mind, re-affirming things to oneself, what one wants to believe in, what one would like to see happen, are futile. Want is intrinsic. Want is strong. Want is natural. One must evolve or grow into wanting something so much that all natural actions and reactions strive towards it. If that’s not happening perhaps you have not wanted it so bad. Perhaps one is looking in the wrong places. A wish must become a want to be a part of every breathing moment. When it does, one does not have to remind oneself of its importance or create an awareness of its existence. It is overwhelming enough to thrive on its own. Self affirmations address change to an extent. Once again I treat change to be external, evolution is not. Anything extrinsic is a force acting against nature. Perhaps we need to be comfortable in our own skin, the pace at which we live, unapologetic about how we think and feel and content with who we are and what we have. I by no means wish to dismiss aspirations, I never would, they after all fuel evolution. It is in fact a lot like the emotion, love. Love, a commonly used, most commonly abused word. Love is unconditional, it is not reiterated. It simply exists and grows. It knows no head, no heart because it values the soul. I have heard people mention how they once had a loved one. Had a loved one? I question. Love just stays; It is the demonstration that at best may fade away. Probably it was never love that they shared. It is the one thing that is permanent, the one thing you carry to your grave and who knows beyond. The only truth some say is death, but I could argue for one more, evidently. Not that I am trying to be condescending but it is an opinion that I bear at this moment, and who knows as I grow each day it may change.

3 November 2008

sometimes equations seem to match but they are not balanced.(1.05 am)

Hiatus

It has been a while since I wrote anything. Prima facie a good excuse will be the lifestyle we lead. It is easy to use hectic schedules as a reason for not following what one does otherwise. Otherwise? Well, yeah! There have been a couple times I thought I would pen down my thoughts and realized that I was unable to do justice. Defeating the purpose of finding respite in writings and using it as my truth serum. The hiatus has been cold and long, with loads untold. So I have decided to capture what I am thinking of and how i feel, in little capsules. To the world of internet savvy they term it micro-blogging. I am going to just call it updates on my status. An aggregate of all the moods I care to share on gtalk and facebook. Maybe they will help me know myself better, in retrospect. Need to get back to writing even if it means penning down a line and no matter how frivolous and inconsequential it be, it will at least keep me in touch. Wish more things were like swimming and cycling. Let’s explore!

In Love, Margarita

There is nothing more I could do
but tell you how and why,
I love you more,
each time I look into your eyes.
It is like falling in love with you from the very beginning
The time seems to rewind,
All the people and moments seem to standstill.
To our hopes and the glint of our love
There is a flame you bring to our lives
There is nothing more I could do
But express the love for you I carry inside
To tell you that you are the one for me until tomorrows
Until the suns and moons of our lives
Together we see the secret gardens of our selves in each others arms
There is nothing more I could do
But tell you how deeply I love you dear
Love you each day of my life,
Like the one day that it takes to survive.
It is our one life we make it together
We carry each other through good times and otherwise
Hold each other & come back from occasions we never did part
Awake and relentless we hold ourselves together,
With every rhythm I dance to, every tune I hum
We know it is our song, we have sung it together
Rejoicing and rekindling the love that blossoms
There is nothing more I could do
But tell you how and why
You mean everything that defines meaning in this life and in those to come.
- In love, Margarita

So Far...

So Far..

It has been easy so far,
The truth that dwelled in our lives
Was buried and scarred
As I re-visit the essence and drive
I feel compelled to correct the standards to survive
To resurrect the dying aptitude in moral conviction
to improve in small measures
to make doable resolutions

A process of self help
A guide to what I would like to be known as best
The things I would like to do
The things that I would find time to pursue
The approach is not a whirlwind solution
But the implementation of an idiom I heard at kindergarten
Rome was not built in a day
Simple thoughts put into practice through simpler actions
Will comprise a fruitful day


An inner truth we aspire for
Is to realize our ambitions
In spheres we care for
These are:
Our definitions
Our descriptions
Our search for meaning of life

In all we do in a day’s cycle
Over an extended period of time
What stands out is the lack of growth in monotonous routine tasks
That we train our heart and mind to execute in factions of time
The vicious cycle is not never-ending, once identified
There is indeed an attachment to the mundaneness of our lives
Severing of the everyday ties
Comfort with ambiguity is rarely high
Attempting to change though healthy, is a courageous try
Moreover, can you change what you have known of yourself all your breathing life
A one shot claim is at best an outburst, an outcry,

The mechanics to change are often not hostile
The transition is through
improvements in small measures and doable resolutions
each day, everyday of our lives

Of The Lesser Gods

Children borne of the lesser gods
condemned to a life of disdain
where gurgling laughter
and innocence lose their meaning
early years are reserved for menial training.

Corrupted minds and corrupted hearts
the milieu tearing their childhood apart.
a roving eye,
an outstretched arm
seeking comfort from another's alms.


Exposed to the ways of the world
nobody to tell them, right from wrong.
The only lesson they learn
that molds them at their tender age
is to survive, just another day.



Yet these children, borne of the lesser gods
instinctively, make choices,
choices of which normal childhood is made of.
They play in mud,
cry in pain
build castles of clay
and string empty cans as trains.
They too admire their reflection in the mirror,
impersonating a superstar
gather the rags to innovate them as dresses
for junk, they label them baubles and trinkets.
They too seek others of their age
uncannily,their games resemble games of those born to normal personage.

When one amongst the children, borne of the lesser gods
begins to thrive and shine
when one amongst them, begin to more than just survive
A challenge to those living lives of normalcy
One of whom, points them towards their shrine of abject misery and dependency
borne of the lesser gods, you forever will be.

An Apocryphal Song

Part I

An apocryphal love song
A terrible day
Post a worn out storm
What seems actual
Is but a vicissitude of life
Urging the inner strength- to live on
In pangs of lust
In throes of futile hunger
Candor buried under a nebulous cloud
A constant aching monologue
Trepidation over an apocryphal love song

Part II

To my love, I address this piece, my part of the monologue.


An apocryphal love song
A song i sing to you
An apocryphal love song
A song I bring to you
Today, under this moon and starlit sky
I forsake my miseries,
in your arms, I reside
When I loose all my charms
and the hay days are bygone
Will you heed my eyes?
or will you lead me into lies?
Will the love song of our lives survive ?
or the dream I dream die?

To my love, he said, I address this piece.

An apocryphal love song
A song that you sing to me.
An apocryphal love song
A song that you bring to me.
You walk into my arms with a warmth in your smile
it lights up my life like the moon and stars in the sky
with each day of your life you give to me
admittedly, the charm in you, begins to die
No more do I bring you flowers and wine
but true to my word
you have the sincerest eyes
My heart aches to see yet another moment go by of our lives
"together" our love will survive

A "love" song you sing to me
for the "love" you bring to me
believe in the words I speak
the flame of our love will never die.

PHENOMENAL WOMAN

This is my favourite piece- and the first amongsts the posts that I have not written


Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.


by Maya Angelou

Memoirs

The days of self definition,
Those days of freedom.
Living each day of our lives,
With the few, restricted choices at our discretion.

The days of casual conversations,
Intermittent, with spurts of laughter.
Those days of flirtatious admiration.

Novelty, was in all we did.
First-timer adrenaline rushes.
Gasping in horror over breath analyzers,
Post trouble-making and it's ramifications.

In love with multiple people, simultaneously,
Pouring out sighs of adulation.
Only if we could put together someone, that satiated our fascination.

The stolen askew glance to the one we desire, to call sweetheart,
Exchanging polite conversation with their best cohort.
Coffee-dates translating into endless gossip sessions,
Extrapolating multifarious possibilities one dreamed of.

Short-skirts and pleat-less trousers.
Hair styled to perfection.
A let loose, tie.
An air of confidence.
An expression, of the wannabe millionaire.

Cans of coke,
Jargon about the dame and ol’ bloke.
Slangs of generation next,
Rolling of r’s,
Struggling between British and American accents.
Alas! Contemporary hip-hop lip sync, an aspiration.

The coolest gig-
Traditional waltzing in dim lighting with a demure babe.
Driving to hangout joints with blaring tape.
Rally cars, with metallic fenders and modification.
Swatch to flaunt and mobile rescue operations.

Going dutch on fine-dining,
To afford the delectable chocolate cake.
Setting valentine’s as target to get oneself a date.
Movie romances that transported one to dream locations.

Last minute assignments!
What’s with the examinations?
Burning of the midnight candle to get a first glimpse at the syllabus in question.
Scanning the question paper for the eureka moment,
In hope to see something that trigger's our imagination,
Clenching the pen between our teeth,
With our fingers in circular motion,
In deep thought of falling grades,
Anxiety of passing and the commotion within.
Convinced we’d have cracked the paper,
Given just another day of preparation.

So tutorials will be it, parents forceful assertion.
The passport to your future millions, their declaration.
Yeah right! Like group studies were helpful!
So will be yet another commercialized educational institution.

With the best of wardrobe on display,
The best bet to break away from the school uniform, oh so mundane.
To flaunt the recent purchase of imported fragrances,
Wear streaked, treated-hair in any form,
To fall in place or apart, trained to conform.
Torn-denims, anti-fits, low-waists called the shots in the fashion hour
Tees that showcased the arduous work done.
Brief,  flashes of  brand endorsements, where one hadn't gone.

Basketball in hand, heading for a smoke on the court.
Equipped with all the accouterments, to be on the ground.
Football was incidental, cared for the crowd.

The high fives on meeting,
Hugs echoing fraternity,
Friends ganging-up  for the sneak peek of F-TV,
To ogle at the damsels walk the ramp in bikinis.
Discussion about the hottie round the bend,
A new entrant to the colony.

Geeks don’t go far was the mantra,
Have fun, the war-cry
Years from the day of school farewell,
Half a dozen batches or more apart from that day of graduation.
The thread that ties,
The days of self definition,
Those days of freedom,
Is living our life to the fullest,
With the few, restricted choices, at our discretion

Back to Basics

Fancy a day in your life
You had no inhibitions
No one knew who you are
No one knew who you are meant to be

Broke like an old fake coin
Walking the streets at midnight
Rolling back tears
Wishing away your fears
With nothing to loose
With nothing to hide

A glum playful you
like when you were seven
pelting cobbles, knocking empty cans on the way
making deranged imitations of passers by
staring at your fingers as they take imaginary shapes
giving away your last dime to keep a poor child’s benign smile
unpaid bills, strewn clothes,
an empty house and an emptier self- unassured
How you wish to unlock the door to “your life”

And now you question me
Whose fancy, could this possibly be?

You wish away others expectations of you
When the only person left to live for is- oneself

Reach out for that dumped, cob webbed haversack
Throw in some clothes
And a pair of keds to match your stride
Hitch and ride your way
Striving for menial work to earn your daily bread
Small talk with strangers
No place to stay
Unabashed about, seeking out
Admittedly you smile more often than you cry
Perhaps more often than you ever did in you past way of life
Each gesture of generosity, a pleasant surprise
An adventure story, each day to summarize
A comfort with uncertainty
A calm, composed centre of locus
A strength to see the world through the most beautiful eyes
Clutter seems to vanish, vanity dies

Only if we could undertake this journey
Travel back to basics of our lives
A role play, with no restraint
Unsurpassed anonymity by our side
We will fancy each day- “every day” of your lives