Spiteful Calm

Am I the same?
Do u picture me any other way?
Is it wry? Are you dismayed?
I pretend to peak in confidence
And you think it is high
It is nothing more than a display
No one knows who I am, not even I.
I am not the one you believed in
Am I shattering your belief?
I am shattering mine.
I know I am not who I wanted to be
Far from love and far from life of others
Untouched by complexities
May be that’s all that I care for
Are those beliefs mine?
My verdict against yours
My truth against love and life
It is not for fear of pain or that I foresee life as dim
It is all those anxieties one faces when there is hope and folklore
All things I’d care for and all those moments I’d deny
I’d see the time skim through me and realize that it leaves us all bare
To show the face of nostalgia is to bare your face to the world
And as it fades colors, blurs one’s opinions
Surfaces the unknown
We are to witness this exposure,
We are born to experience
This life in its verve and dynamism
all that it brings to the limelight
Random thoughts and random patterns
Leaving us vulnerable to the inevitable
After a storm calm will reside.