4 November 2008

at times you need to take a step back to move forward...hmmmm! (21.35)

sometimes equations seem to match but they are not balanced.(1.05 am)

Just another conversation

I have had one of the most splendid conversations with myself. It happened earlier this morning while driving from Noida to Gurgaon, a drive usually deemed to be a pain. At times, in fact, in my case, most of the times, a drive can be therapeutic, like the one today. It helped clear all the clutter in my head. The dark clouds seemed to fade. It all began with self affirmations. What are self affirmations? Why do we reiterate to ourselves things we would wish, materialize? I realized, that to my mind, re-affirming things to oneself, what one wants to believe in, what one would like to see happen, are futile. Want is intrinsic. Want is strong. Want is natural. One must evolve or grow into wanting something so much that all natural actions and reactions strive towards it. If that’s not happening perhaps you have not wanted it so bad. Perhaps one is looking in the wrong places. A wish must become a want to be a part of every breathing moment. When it does, one does not have to remind oneself of its importance or create an awareness of its existence. It is overwhelming enough to thrive on its own. Self affirmations address change to an extent. Once again I treat change to be external, evolution is not. Anything extrinsic is a force acting against nature. Perhaps we need to be comfortable in our own skin, the pace at which we live, unapologetic about how we think and feel and content with who we are and what we have. I by no means wish to dismiss aspirations, I never would, they after all fuel evolution. It is in fact a lot like the emotion, love. Love, a commonly used, most commonly abused word. Love is unconditional, it is not reiterated. It simply exists and grows. It knows no head, no heart because it values the soul. I have heard people mention how they once had a loved one. Had a loved one? I question. Love just stays; It is the demonstration that at best may fade away. Probably it was never love that they shared. It is the one thing that is permanent, the one thing you carry to your grave and who knows beyond. The only truth some say is death, but I could argue for one more, evidently. Not that I am trying to be condescending but it is an opinion that I bear at this moment, and who knows as I grow each day it may change.

3 November 2008

sometimes equations seem to match but they are not balanced.(1.05 am)

Hiatus

It has been a while since I wrote anything. Prima facie a good excuse will be the lifestyle we lead. It is easy to use hectic schedules as a reason for not following what one does otherwise. Otherwise? Well, yeah! There have been a couple times I thought I would pen down my thoughts and realized that I was unable to do justice. Defeating the purpose of finding respite in writings and using it as my truth serum. The hiatus has been cold and long, with loads untold. So I have decided to capture what I am thinking of and how i feel, in little capsules. To the world of internet savvy they term it micro-blogging. I am going to just call it updates on my status. An aggregate of all the moods I care to share on gtalk and facebook. Maybe they will help me know myself better, in retrospect. Need to get back to writing even if it means penning down a line and no matter how frivolous and inconsequential it be, it will at least keep me in touch. Wish more things were like swimming and cycling. Let’s explore!

In Love, Margarita

There is nothing more I could do
but tell you how and why,
I love you more,
each time I look into your eyes.
It is like falling in love with you from the very beginning
The time seems to rewind,
All the people and moments seem to standstill.
To our hopes and the glint of our love
There is a flame you bring to our lives
There is nothing more I could do
But express the love for you I carry inside
To tell you that you are the one for me until tomorrows
Until the suns and moons of our lives
Together we see the secret gardens of our selves in each others arms
There is nothing more I could do
But tell you how deeply I love you dear
Love you each day of my life,
Like the one day that it takes to survive.
It is our one life we make it together
We carry each other through good times and otherwise
Hold each other & come back from occasions we never did part
Awake and relentless we hold ourselves together,
With every rhythm I dance to, every tune I hum
We know it is our song, we have sung it together
Rejoicing and rekindling the love that blossoms
There is nothing more I could do
But tell you how and why
You mean everything that defines meaning in this life and in those to come.
- In love, Margarita