Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Friday, February 14, 2014
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Shiney Ahuja One liners
Compilation of original Shiney Ahuja jokes posted as FB status updates:
Q.Who is Shiney's fav football player?
A.Bai Chung Bhutia
Q.What kind of food does Shiney like
A.Home Maid
Q.What is Shiney's sexual orientation?
A.He is Bai-Sexual
Q.Why did Shiney hang out with Snoop Dog??
A. To make rape music
he loves N'Sync coz they sing...."bai bai bai"
Q.whats shiney ahuja's favorite song?
A.Maid in India
Q.Which song did Shiney sing with N'Sync
A.Bai Bai Bai
Q.In court, under oath what did Shiney say?
A.Bai God!
A." i was an innocent bai-stander"
Q.What kind of pact did Laloo and Shiney get into?
A.Bai Chara
Q.What does Shiney think now?
A.Let bygones be bai'gones
Q.Who are Shiney's new family members?
A.Bai Laws
Q.Why was Shiney charged?
A.Cause he crossed the Bai line
q.Where in Mumbai was Shiney Caught?
A.Bai-under ( Bhayander)
Q.What does Shiney practice?
A.'Bai-gamy'
Q.what did shiney tell his wife at the airport?
A.'Bai-Bai'
Q.Shiney's bio
A.Fav TV Serial: Baiwatch
Fav movie: Maid in Manhattan, North bai Northwest
Fav website: bestbai.com ( Bestbuy.com)... Read More
If you were not an actor what would you be: Bai-oglogist,
You swear by: Baibelle
Fav song: Bai bai love ( by the Everly brothers)
Q.What is Shiney's fav search engine?
A.Bai-du
Q.What is shineys only wish now ?
A." Bai - pass" surgery
Q.What has media coverage got to do with Shiney?
A.It is a Bai product
Q.How does Shiney refute all the claims?
A.It was all Bai-Talk
Q.Why did Shiney feel very old on his birthday?
A.He was celebrating his bai-centennial
Q.what specs does shiney wear?
A."bai-focals"
Q.When Anupam came to c him @ de cell, he said "Bai-by"
Q.How wud shiney ask for a cigg drag???
A." bai zara dena!!"
Q.What is the moral of the story?
A.love bai-tes!!!
Note:All of this is just Bai- d- way
Contributors: Shantanu, Neeraj, Mayuri, Smita, Ahteram, Hitesh, Pushkar
Q.Who is Shiney's fav football player?
A.Bai Chung Bhutia
Q.What kind of food does Shiney like
A.Home Maid
Q.What is Shiney's sexual orientation?
A.He is Bai-Sexual
Q.Why did Shiney hang out with Snoop Dog??
A. To make rape music
he loves N'Sync coz they sing...."bai bai bai"
Q.whats shiney ahuja's favorite song?
A.Maid in India
Q.Which song did Shiney sing with N'Sync
A.Bai Bai Bai
Q.In court, under oath what did Shiney say?
A.Bai God!
A." i was an innocent bai-stander"
Q.What kind of pact did Laloo and Shiney get into?
A.Bai Chara
Q.What does Shiney think now?
A.Let bygones be bai'gones
Q.Who are Shiney's new family members?
A.Bai Laws
Q.Why was Shiney charged?
A.Cause he crossed the Bai line
q.Where in Mumbai was Shiney Caught?
A.Bai-under ( Bhayander)
Q.What does Shiney practice?
A.'Bai-gamy'
Q.what did shiney tell his wife at the airport?
A.'Bai-Bai'
Q.Shiney's bio
A.Fav TV Serial: Baiwatch
Fav movie: Maid in Manhattan, North bai Northwest
Fav website: bestbai.com ( Bestbuy.com)... Read More
If you were not an actor what would you be: Bai-oglogist,
You swear by: Baibelle
Fav song: Bai bai love ( by the Everly brothers)
Q.What is Shiney's fav search engine?
A.Bai-du
Q.What is shineys only wish now ?
A." Bai - pass" surgery
Q.What has media coverage got to do with Shiney?
A.It is a Bai product
Q.How does Shiney refute all the claims?
A.It was all Bai-Talk
Q.Why did Shiney feel very old on his birthday?
A.He was celebrating his bai-centennial
Q.what specs does shiney wear?
A."bai-focals"
Q.When Anupam came to c him @ de cell, he said "Bai-by"
Q.How wud shiney ask for a cigg drag???
A." bai zara dena!!"
Q.What is the moral of the story?
A.love bai-tes!!!
Note:All of this is just Bai- d- way
Contributors: Shantanu, Neeraj, Mayuri, Smita, Ahteram, Hitesh, Pushkar
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
One Liners: Food for thought
there are just too many ingredients that are required to acquire perfection
but many a dish are prepared in the simplest of manner
it is just the special touch which steals the show...
A well garnished dish more often than not leaves one hungry...in one way or another wanting for more
Cheesy one I say...lol
I am not too adventurous when it comes to the cuisines I eat...I make up for it by the men I dig
damn...i will write a book on pick up lines...any publishers?
Cooking is therapeutic... only when you are doing it when you want and the way you want
Applause! married women...
but many a dish are prepared in the simplest of manner
it is just the special touch which steals the show...
A well garnished dish more often than not leaves one hungry...in one way or another wanting for more
Cheesy one I say...lol
I am not too adventurous when it comes to the cuisines I eat...I make up for it by the men I dig
damn...i will write a book on pick up lines...any publishers?
Cooking is therapeutic... only when you are doing it when you want and the way you want
Applause! married women...
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Memoirs
The days of self definition,
Those days of freedom.
Living each day of our lives,
With the few, restricted choices at our discretion.
The days of casual conversations,
Intermittent, with spurts of laughter.
Those days of flirtatious admiration.
Novelty, was in all we did.
First-timer adrenaline rushes.
Gasping in horror over breath analyzers,
Post trouble-making and it's ramifications.
In love with multiple people, simultaneously,
Pouring out sighs of adulation.
Only if we could put together someone, that satiated our fascination.
The stolen askew glance to the one we desire, to call sweetheart,
Exchanging polite conversation with their best cohort.
Coffee-dates translating into endless gossip sessions,
Extrapolating multifarious possibilities one dreamed of.
Short-skirts and pleat-less trousers.
Hair styled to perfection.
A let loose, tie.
An air of confidence.
An expression, of the wannabe millionaire.
Cans of coke,
Jargon about the dame and ol’ bloke.
Slangs of generation next,
Rolling of r’s,
Struggling between British and American accents.
Alas! Contemporary hip-hop lip sync, an aspiration.
The coolest gig-
Traditional waltzing in dim lighting with a demure babe.
Driving to hangout joints with blaring tape.
Rally cars, with metallic fenders and modification.
Swatch to flaunt and mobile rescue operations.
Going dutch on fine-dining,
To afford the delectable chocolate cake.
Setting valentine’s as target to get oneself a date.
Movie romances that transported one to dream locations.
Last minute assignments!
What’s with the examinations?
Burning of the midnight candle to get a first glimpse at the syllabus in question.
Scanning the question paper for the eureka moment,
In hope to see something that trigger's our imagination,
Clenching the pen between our teeth,
With our fingers in circular motion,
In deep thought of falling grades,
Anxiety of passing and the commotion within.
Convinced we’d have cracked the paper,
Given just another day of preparation.
So tutorials will be it, parents forceful assertion.
The passport to your future millions, their declaration.
Yeah right! Like group studies were helpful!
So will be yet another commercialized educational institution.
With the best of wardrobe on display,
The best bet to break away from the school uniform, oh so mundane.
To flaunt the recent purchase of imported fragrances,
Wear streaked, treated-hair in any form,
To fall in place or apart, trained to conform.
Torn-denims, anti-fits, low-waists called the shots in the fashion hour
Tees that showcased the arduous work done.
Brief, flashes of brand endorsements, where one hadn't gone.
Basketball in hand, heading for a smoke on the court.
Equipped with all the accouterments, to be on the ground.
Football was incidental, cared for the crowd.
The high fives on meeting,
Hugs echoing fraternity,
Friends ganging-up for the sneak peek of F-TV,
To ogle at the damsels walk the ramp in bikinis.
Discussion about the hottie round the bend,
A new entrant to the colony.
Geeks don’t go far was the mantra,
Have fun, the war-cry
Years from the day of school farewell,
Half a dozen batches or more apart from that day of graduation.
The thread that ties,
The days of self definition,
Those days of freedom,
Is living our life to the fullest,
With the few, restricted choices, at our discretion
Those days of freedom.
Living each day of our lives,
With the few, restricted choices at our discretion.
The days of casual conversations,
Intermittent, with spurts of laughter.
Those days of flirtatious admiration.
Novelty, was in all we did.
First-timer adrenaline rushes.
Gasping in horror over breath analyzers,
Post trouble-making and it's ramifications.
In love with multiple people, simultaneously,
Pouring out sighs of adulation.
Only if we could put together someone, that satiated our fascination.
The stolen askew glance to the one we desire, to call sweetheart,
Exchanging polite conversation with their best cohort.
Coffee-dates translating into endless gossip sessions,
Extrapolating multifarious possibilities one dreamed of.
Short-skirts and pleat-less trousers.
Hair styled to perfection.
A let loose, tie.
An air of confidence.
An expression, of the wannabe millionaire.
Cans of coke,
Jargon about the dame and ol’ bloke.
Slangs of generation next,
Rolling of r’s,
Struggling between British and American accents.
Alas! Contemporary hip-hop lip sync, an aspiration.
The coolest gig-
Traditional waltzing in dim lighting with a demure babe.
Driving to hangout joints with blaring tape.
Rally cars, with metallic fenders and modification.
Swatch to flaunt and mobile rescue operations.
Going dutch on fine-dining,
To afford the delectable chocolate cake.
Setting valentine’s as target to get oneself a date.
Movie romances that transported one to dream locations.
Last minute assignments!
What’s with the examinations?
Burning of the midnight candle to get a first glimpse at the syllabus in question.
Scanning the question paper for the eureka moment,
In hope to see something that trigger's our imagination,
Clenching the pen between our teeth,
With our fingers in circular motion,
In deep thought of falling grades,
Anxiety of passing and the commotion within.
Convinced we’d have cracked the paper,
Given just another day of preparation.
So tutorials will be it, parents forceful assertion.
The passport to your future millions, their declaration.
Yeah right! Like group studies were helpful!
So will be yet another commercialized educational institution.
With the best of wardrobe on display,
The best bet to break away from the school uniform, oh so mundane.
To flaunt the recent purchase of imported fragrances,
Wear streaked, treated-hair in any form,
To fall in place or apart, trained to conform.
Torn-denims, anti-fits, low-waists called the shots in the fashion hour
Tees that showcased the arduous work done.
Brief, flashes of brand endorsements, where one hadn't gone.
Basketball in hand, heading for a smoke on the court.
Equipped with all the accouterments, to be on the ground.
Football was incidental, cared for the crowd.
The high fives on meeting,
Hugs echoing fraternity,
Friends ganging-up for the sneak peek of F-TV,
To ogle at the damsels walk the ramp in bikinis.
Discussion about the hottie round the bend,
A new entrant to the colony.
Geeks don’t go far was the mantra,
Have fun, the war-cry
Years from the day of school farewell,
Half a dozen batches or more apart from that day of graduation.
The thread that ties,
The days of self definition,
Those days of freedom,
Is living our life to the fullest,
With the few, restricted choices, at our discretion
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